Beecher on Love

Young love is a flame, old love is as coals...

I recently came across a very beautiful quote about love, from Henry Ward Beecher.

He writes:

“Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep burning, unquenchable.”

It’s a nice distinction, between young love as a kind of infatuation, burning brightly, and a deeper, more long-lasting commitment, which he likens to glowing coals, providing true warmth. If you’re lucky, then the flames of young love will turn into this enduring love.

C.S. Lewis once made a similar observation, in which he characterized true love as a kind of ‘quiet love’. Which is to say that as you grow older, love can turn into a friendship, a deep connection and commitment that goes beyond a passing infatuation. And maybe this is what love really looks like: two people with a shared commitment, who choose to become subject to one another.

In one of Nietzsche’s aphorisms he makes a similar point, urging young lovers to ask themselves a simple question: "could you imagine yourself conversing with them into old age?”

I personally like Beecher’s quote because he doesn’t suggest that one type of love is better or more valid than the other. Love can be short and intense, but also long and enduring. Both of them are equally meaningful. One burns like a fire, the other glows like coals. And if you’re lucky, then you can experience both.

Julian

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